Yoga found me this time around in 2002, when my brother dragged me up the stairs towards Bryan Kest's 10:45 morning class. To be honest, I found the practice to be miserable. I had a very difficult time accepting my experience, which at that time included a very stiff body. And instead of spending 90 minutes getting comfortable, I spent the 90 minutes judging the teacher, other students and mostly myself. This experience was repeated over and over again for the next 2 years, regardless of the class or teacher. What it pointed to was a distinct self-disdain; a deep-rooted lack of self-acceptance. Ironically, I wasn't able to see that it was I making me miserable in yoga, so I blamed the practice of yoga and attended classes rarely, driven mostly by a desire for flexibility when I did show up.
A minor epiphany struck however in the summer of 2004, far far away from any yoga studio in the city of Helsinki, Finland. It was there that I saw just how limiting the self-judgment had become and it was there that I experienced the profoundly freeing experience of letting go. Without a second thought, my priority became studying and experiencing happiness from moment to moment. I came back to sunny Santa Monica and took up in earnest the study of Yoga (Oneness). The practice led me way beyond asana. I experimented for various lengths with all sorts of Spiritual practices. The drive to seek out the truth led me to Zen teachings. I studied the Bible, Buddha's Diamond Sutra, and Lau Tzu's Tao Te Ching. All of these teachers, I discovered, were sharing the same thing. They were just using different stories, different anthropomorphic models, to point towards the same Truth.
Patanjali's first Yoga Sutra announces, "Now yoga is revealed."
Buddha shared with his students, "I look before me and all I see are Buddhas"
Jesus asked the crowd "Know ye not? Ye are gods."
Three teachers using different words to express the same truth.
Before I go any further, read the above sentences again...and just let it sink in...
You're a Buddha, a God! You're one with the Universe! When? NOW! No prerequisites, no conditions, you just ARE! And so am I.... So the question must come, "Well, that might be the Ultimate Truth, but certainly that’s not my truth. I don't experience perfection, Godliness or Buddha nature. Why is this?"
Good question.... Well, if I'm a God and I believe that I'm not a God, certainly I'm powerful enough to create a reality to prove my belief. And if I believe that struggle, pain, illness and all other forms of less than perfect energy are a necessary part of my existence, then certainly I'd be powerful enough to manifest an existence that proves those beliefs as well.
As quantum physicists say, "The Universe is mind-like."
Or as Buddha puts it, "All is Mind."
So we've identified our culprit...the mind. And how difficult it will be to overcome the mind with our mind....so what shall we do? How does Yoga Asana (poses) help us in this pursuit of taming the mind?
Remember, if not for our beliefs, perfection would be evident all around us and in everything we do. We can see that babies, who aren't weighed down with beliefs, are ultra flexible and bendy. Similarly a man knocked unconscious (i.e., the mind is no longer in control) will bend and stretch in every direction without any tension in his body. We can surmise that the tension in bodies is a reflection of our collection of beliefs and not simply a physical phenomenon.
So the tension is our gateway to deal with not only the physical body but also the mind. If we let go of the tension, we will also let go of a great deal of our beliefs.
As you're reading this, you're most likely sitting down. Do you have any awareness of tension in your groin? Most likely the answer is NO. But if you were to go into the full splits position, most certainly you would be aware of tension, correct? Was the tension there before you went into the full splits? Of course it was, you just didn't have the sensitivity to be aware of it. So the pose served as a flashlight. And that is exactly the value of all yoga poses, they serve as tools to reveal where you're holding on. Once you're aware of the tension in any particular pose, there is no need to go any further in the pose. The depth of your pose does not matter! Let me say that again, "THE DEPTH OF YOUR POSE DOES NOT MATTER!" In fact the most effective approach to the pose is not to go as deeply as you can, rather go as sensitively as you can. Can you be aware of the first revelation of tension? What’s the quality of the tension? What are the sensations? How am I being in the is pose?
Awareness, awareness, awareness!
Whatever the yoga pose reveals, you're job is simply to be aware. Awareness however is not the only wheel on the wagon to liberation. There is a second equally important wheel. The practice of acceptance. Whatever it is I am aware of, I accept. I put myself into a forward bend and I notice tension in the backs of my legs. "Wonderful," I say to myself. "I am aware of tension in the backs of my legs! Let me study it". Notice I don’t try to change what I’m aware of, I just accept and continue to develop my awareness.But lets say I get distracted in the pose and I notice someone next to me, they're elbows are nearly on the floor in the same pose in which I struggle to bring my fingers tips to the floor. I begin to judge myself, "I'm not good enough". I decide that I should force further into the pose.Then I remember the two things I'm REALLY practicing, Awareness and Acceptance and I say, "Oh, look! I'm judging myself and forcing into this pose! Wonderful! I'll study how that feels experientially" And once I have accepted that I am judging and forcing it becomes very easy for me to see that the experience of judging and forcing is not a pleasant one, and just like that I have moved out of judgment and forcing and back into Awareness and Acceptance.
The practice is really quite simple. Awareness and Acceptance. Awareness and Acceptance....
When my mind wanders, when I notice myself forcing in a pose, when I'm bored, when I'm angry, when I'm thinking about tomorrows meeting with the boss, whatever it is, once I become aware of it, my only job is to accept it. "Ahhhh wonderful, I'm silently cursing the teacher, wonderful!" Similarly, when I become aware of pleasant sensations in a pose.“Ahh wonderful, pleasant sensations!Let me study!”Never do I cling to a pleasant sensation or resist any tension or discomfort.Just awareness and acceptance.
Slowly as I practice Awareness and Acceptance, a new behavioral pattern begins to form. Instead of reacting to tension and discomfort with an unconscious pattern of avoidance, resistance, or denial, I instead begin to just accept. More and more, I am Aware of my state of being, and more and more I am in acceptance of that state.
Just because I practice Awareness and Acceptance doesn't mean that I am always aware.I have been practicing this technique now for many years and I still have plenty of unconscious reactions.When I’m in traffic and someone cuts me off, I still might unconsciously choose anger and flip them off.I just don’t leave my finger up as long as I used to.And that’s the idea…progress not perfection.Awareness and acceptance…awareness and acceptance!
The Yoga class I lead is an easy paced celebration. It is designed to maximize the student's opportunity to develop awareness and accept whatever it is that comes into their awareness, thereby relaxing into the Truth. Sometimes we dance in class, sometimes we sing.Sometimes we make strange animal noises.We will try all sorts of things to break free from the stagnant energy we have come know so well, and hopefully when you have walked out of class you will not only be smiling, but also better equipped to smile whenever and wherever you decide!My intention as guide is to open up the possibility of waking up, the possibility of Realization.
